Because I have showered, taken a much needed nap, eaten dinner and started a load of laundry I can now blog about this. . .
Today was the day I shed my first tears as a mom. These weren't tears of joy, but rather tears of exhaustion, desperation and complete clueless-ness for lack of a better term. For the first time I felt so helpless about the unknown.
I experienced my first day of continual crying and screaming and squaking as I call it. He is normally so quiet, content and mellow. We even commented all weekend how much effort it took for this little boy to work up a cry. Not today. He was flowing alligator tears for hours. He was just not a happy camper. It seemed never ending. He didn't want to be held. He didn't want to lay down. He didn't want to hang in his bouncer. Nothing seemed to work. After four hours of holding, bounce walking, and rocking back and forth we went on a drive. I have figured out one thing, he doesn't mind his car seat. I first set out to drive around the block of our neighborhood but the quiet sound and gray skies with sprinkles on my windshield was just what I needed. So down the 215 we went, then onto I-15 and along the highway we drove - with no destination in mind, just us and the semi's. It was a good hour of driving randomly around town in peace and quiet to re-group. As I came home and took him out of the carseat, his restless squirming continued, he tried to get comfortable and yawned about a million times. But at least the screaming had ceased. He was tired. I was tired. I've never wanted Jordan to walk through the door from school so much in my life. And when he did, he took Carson without hestitation and had him sound asleep within thirty minutes.
Today was just not my day. Let's pray tomorrow will be better. Because he is
SO cute when he sleeps. :)
As much as I wanted to pull my hair out, I love Carson and love being his mommy. I know he knows my voice and tonight, happy Carson wanted to cuddle. He wanted his mommy again and I loved every minute of it!
6 comments:
Oh girl I feel for ya! It's a combination of hormones, exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed. We as Mommies have ALL been there! I spent many hours in the car with screaming babies...you do what ya gotta do! It seems like my babies were so calm and mellow for 2-3 weeks and all of a sudden "wake up" and start being more demanding and fussy for a few weeks. Call me anytime...I know how you feel!! Love ya...you are a fabulous Mommy and can do it!!
We've all been there. Even crying for no reason been there. Welcome to mommyhood.
Ok, i love the family picture at the beginning of your next post. How cute is carson in it!
I'm sorry you had a tough day. trust me, there were many times when brock would come home from work and i would be in tears. Literally the most exhausted i had ever felt in my live. it'll ease up. before you know it he'll be sleeping through the night and life will start to feel normal again.
If you ever want to come over with your crying man I would gladly hold him and let you rest and he can cry. I don't get phased by the crying. If you have done everything you can- they are fed, changed and anything else they may need..... then you just have to know that they will survive (though you feel that you may not). I totally went through the new mommy blues. I called Steph McMillan and just bawled to her. Apparently quite a few of us have called her to cry. If you need to talk or have any mom questions just call me!
I totally feel your pain...Josh and Sammy both did that as babies. They both ended up having really bad acid reflux and were so much happier when they were on reflux medication. You can come hang out with us when you get bored or frustrated! By the way, your baby is adorable!
I have had a few of those moments as well, luckily not too often. Hope you are able to get some rest and just enjoy that sweet baby. It's amazing what a shower, a nap, and a meal can do for you.
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